These days you hear these youngsters referring to everyday responsibilities as “adulting”. Their idea of adulting is waking up when their alarm goes off the first time, making themselves a breakfast more substantial than a bowl of cereal, orrr not bailing on a friend they made plans with earlier in the week. If those are the biggest stressors in their lives, they have no idea what "adulting" really is.
In the past year, I have gotten engaged, become a home owner, dealt with a death of a childhood pet, gotten married, managed the contractor with our home remodels, temporarily moved out of my home due to black mold, fought with the insurance company who wrongfully terminated our insurance and didn’t tell us about it until we tried to put in a claim, and struggled with the contractor who abandoned the job after he was paid in full. I have absolutely had the most stressful year of my life, I think the only thing that could possibly make it more stressful is finding out that I’m pregnant.
There’s a limit to the amount of stress that’s considered “good stress”, the kind that will get you motivated and moving, and then there’s the stress that will make you ugly, and can kill you. Too much stress makes you more prone to hair loss, weight gain, high blood pressure, and heart disease. So, ugly, ugly, dead, dead. I’m allowed to say this because I’ve experienced three of the four, first hand.
So how can you deal with it all when you’re completely overloaded?
The number one thing that people tell me to do is to just breathe…and I want to punch those people in the face. When you’re already struggling with high anxiety, a busy work load, and stress at home, breathing don’t do shit. Maybe I’m doing it wrong, but I’ve been doing it this way for 25 years and I’m still alive so…
These are the things I’ve been doing during my peak stress times that have really worked for me.
Bitch It Out
Call up your best friend, your mom, your boyfriend, whoever and just vent. Holding in your frustrations is really unhealthy and overtime will cause you to become very short tempered. Although, the topic of conversation is negative, you will actually feel closer with your vent victim. If no one is available or you don't feel like you have anyone you can talk to, write it down. Write down all your frustrations and then let it go.
Make a Plan of Action
This helps you identify what's in your control and what isn't, those lines can become very blurred when you feel like you're drowning. If it is a problem you can solve, write down a to do list and do your research so you're fully prepared for what's to come. Secondly, approach the battle one step at a time. Contrary to popular belief, no one is a true multi-tasker. So, be methodical and thorough and solve one issue at a time. Like venting, having a plan will put your mind at ease and will allow you to (briefly) forget about the source of stress. Personally, I have a hard time letting go because I'm afraid I'm going to forget what I'm supposed to do and I won't get anything done.
Take a Break
This past week I was so stressed and anxious I couldn't sleep at all! So I called my boss the following morning and told him I just needed a day. I made the most of that day (starting at 5:00 am) by doing my research, coming up with my plan of action, putting my plan into action, keeping my body active, and pampering myself a little bit. The next day I came into work a new woman. It's healthy to take a day of relaxation, once in a while.
Re-Watch Your Favorite TV Show or Movie
Studies have shown that watching your favorite movie is proven to reduce anxiety. It releases endorphins and decreases anxiety because the viewer already knows what's going to happen. So grab a big bowl of popcorn and stream all the goodies with your loved ones (or by yourself) for a relaxing night in.
Whether it's playing a pickup sport or going for a jog, just get your blood pumping. You'll feel better in your mind, body, and soul 😂. If not, at least your body will be so worn out you can just take a nap and forget about all your problems for a few hours.
There's some psychology behind de-cluttering your space. If your house is clean, your mind will be too or something like that. Anyway, I just know that moving around and cleaning my house is cathartic and gives me a sense of purpose, and one less thing to worry about.
Surround Yourself with Positive PEOPLE
Whether it be with people, pets, or alone. Surround yourself with the things that make you happy. Focus on your hobbies or your loved ones to help you lessen your stress. Just being around positive energy can help you out of your funk.
My favorite! Spa night in! Go out and buy yourself those $1 one time use face masks, bath bombs, bath salts, bubble bath, and razors. Bring your favorite book and just soak for at least 30 minutes. By the time you get out of the tub you will feel so relaxed, clean, and pretty.
Set a Goal
Having a personal goal to focus on is a great way to improve yourself and temporarily take your mind off of the outside stress in your life.
I hope these tips will help you in your time of need. What are some other ways you like to de-stress?